Tell me a story

[ochi]

So up here in the great white north, we got some big nasty fellers lurking in the bush... here's a little tale for ya'll!

My grandfather-inlaw is our moose hunting by himself. He's enjoying a nice stroll through the bush when he feels as if something is watching him from behind. He looks back, but there's nothing. He continues for some time with the same feeling, looking back periodically to see nothing. Then he hears a branch snap in behind him, but he can't see anything. He is certain someone or something is following, so he makes a big circle back around to his tracks, just like moose do. Sure enough there are tracks on top of his but he can't quite make them out. He's never really seen such tracks. So he continues thinking he may have thwarted his stalker... but he was very wrong! He continues only for a few more minutes before he hears a branch break again, and definite foot steps behind him. He looks back to catch a glimps of whatever it was following him... his first thought is wolf. He fires a shot towards where he had last seen the flash... Nothing. He turns around and continues. Again hearing footsteps he turns, shoulders the rifle, see's a flash and fires. Again there are no sounds of anything running away. This time he is sure it's not a wolf as they tend to hunt in packs. He's starting to get frightened now and turns to run. Just as he turns, out from a clump of deadfall lunges the creature... the old man is frozen in his tracks... the lips on the animal are pulled back, snarling, teeth glinting in the sun ripe with saliva... this thing is hungry. With a quick twitch the animal takes two quick steps and launches itself towards grandpa. His icy stance quickly thaws and from the hip he lets fire his 303. The turning and firing is enough to knock him off his balance and fall to the ground. While on his back he thought to himself he would soon be something's dinner... but the forest was still. He propped himself up and scanned the area for his attacker, but there was nothing. He got back to his feet and searched for the animal thinking he had killed it... but still nothing. Feeling still in danger and seeing an opportunity to escape he ran. A few hundred yards later he reached the trail that he had left hours ago, and stopped to catch his breath. Not far away was his snowmobile, so he got on and rode back to the cabin completely unscathed. He never did see his attacker again, but swears to this day that it was a werewo... naa that's too far fetched... to this day he swears it was a wolverine!
(PS i suck a BS'ing... this is me just retelling a true story with some added color!)

[Carpdaddy]

Finally I found a free day to get out into the woods in pursuit of the elusive whitetail. So I rose up early this morning around the crack of nine, took a good shower in my sent-my-way shampoo and body wash. It was going to be a cold day with a light drizzle of rain. So after putting on my poly-pope-a-ray under-bloomers I chose to wear my gored-flex bibs and jacket. I got my mudflap sent-for-free boots on and out to the garage for my bow-n-r I went. I grabbed my new Mouth-use high tech parallel split limb bow down with it's latest real-me camo. I snapped on my quiver full of arrows with their spring loaded supersharp mechanical heads, checked to make sure my release was attached, and off I went to pick my partner up. I already knew exactly which stand I would be going to this morning because I had been monitoring my trail cams from my computer for the last two weeks. I knew exactly which of my feeders the deer were coming to and what time. I already had my buck picked out, I was after ol Moe, a massive 10 pointer with hugh G2's and G3's, this deer would score in the 170 range. I had logged on and double checked the wind direction and decided to hunt from my R4 stand. I arrived at my spot before lunch so I packed a peanut butter sandwich, some high protein snacks, and some high caffine energy drinks. My hangup stand was already in place about 25 yards off the field but not to worry, my locating device would lead me right to it. So I sprayed myself down with blue ray sent destruction spray, poured some deer hint on my drag rag, sprayed my boots with skunk spray cover sent, and away I went. I finally got to my stand but before climbing I set off my can of blowing buck spray and poured more lure on my rag before hanging it on a limb. Then up into my stand I went, got my packs snapped onto the tree that holds all the items I would need for the day. You know; things like wind detector spray, toots n grunts, rattlers, iPad, knife, rope, range figure, binoculars, etc.. Then I pulled up my mouth-use and hung it on it's swing away arm where it would be ready. Hadn't much more than sat down when I heard a buck grunting! I didn't see anything so I pulled out my cell phone and texted my buddy who was hunting nearby to see if he had heard it also, he sent me back an "lol" and said that it was just him. So I relaxed in my tree while playing games on my phone. After that I checked my emails and watched a few videos; it was so relaxing. I was beginning to get weary when I caught the sound of movement from deep back in the woods behind me. I pick up on stuff like that because I was wearing my super high/low frequency hearing device. I eased up while getting my bow in hand at the same time. I got to my feet with my bow ready, my arrow was resting firm in the drop-n-fold rest. I had my range figure around my neck and my release on my arm ready to snap onto the loop, I was fully prepared. The sound was getting closer, I slowly turned to see the source of the sound and you'll never believe what I saw. It was just that goofy looking feller with a strange hat easing out of the woods. I recognized him right off because we had seen him before from the computer that I log onto my trail cams with. We had enjoyed several good laughs at pictures we had of this guy. The farmer who owned the land told me that he would also be hunting on the property but we didn't worry much about him though since we did not actually consider him a hunter. This guy didn't even wear camo, usually just some type of old plaid shirt jacket with and gray, black, or green britches. To top it off he didn't even carry a real bow, he had some type of yard sale reject with no sights, quiver, or rest. He didn't even have a release! I held back my giggle as I watched him easing out of the woods, on his back was something that looked like a dead coyote holding what appeared to be wood arrows with actual turkey feathers. I then noticed that he was carrying a pack on his back, some sort of stool was attached to his belt, and he had what appeared to be rattling horns hooked to his backpack. Having already gone through all my food I couldn't help but wonder what this fellow might have in his pack. So I sent a text to my buddy and said "guess who is back, the guy who carries a stick with a string". We decided that this was just too good to pass so we would climb down and check out this guy firsthand. As we approached the fellow quickly apologized for having interrupted our hunt, we told him that it was fine, and that he was the most excitement we had all day. He was very nice so I proceeded to ask him what he had in his pack. He then began to explain how that he had killed a buck, that he had already cut it up, put all the meat in freezer bags, and was carrying it out in his pack. Although I didn't say anything I was thinking to myself "yea right". I just had to pry more so I ask him about the rattling horns. Oh he said; that is the rack from the buck I killed, I keep them to make knife handles and other things out of. He pulled the rack off his back and that's when it hit me like a brick, this was ol Moe's rack! Had this young fellow without a stand, no camo, and that didn't even have a real bow killed my deer? The answer was right before me, he had! What did I learn from this experience you may wonder? I learned that you cannot buy a deer!

[Tradman]

We done with stories? Any more takers?

[Tradman]

Ok...i will go through them and pick the best one according to my feeble mind.

[Tradman]

graps....pm me your address you want your new bow quiver shipped to.You are the winner.You want limb bolt type or slip on?

[Tradman]

Need a bow or something from you graps...Anything will work..Can I get a WOOT WOOT?...C,mon...don't be shy man.

[Graps]

WOW than you !

[Captainkirk]

I say CONGRATS to Graps...the man who could talk the ears off'n a wooden Indian!

[Graps]

Hay I am part wooden indian .
The Blackfoot part of me says not funny , the German side of me says good one .

[Captainkirk]

Hay I am part wooden indian .
The Blackfoot part of me says not funny , the German side of me says good one .

Stole that line from a John Wayne flick, probably Red River.....